Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Q - Quelling doubts

Often AP's get tons of questions and concerns, even mocking and belittling because they are choosing a much different path then their parents and grandparents did.

Is the EBF (Exclusively Breast Feeding) baby getting enough to eat?
Aren't you gonna suffocate the bedsharing baby?
That baby will never learn to walk of you don't stop wearing him in that sling.
If you don't let me baby sit that child will never learn independence.
If you don't...

It goes on, the constant doubt. The constant challenges.

Honestly how you handle these questions depends on the intent of the questioner, the kind of relationship you have and want to continue to have with that person.

If the intent is to challenge and badger you then simply say "my baby, my way." You can finish with a "I've done my research and talked to her doctor, thank you but I need no other opinions isn't he matter."
If the questioner is truly uneducated, confused, but open to learning then either sit down and educate them, give them a book, send them links.

Most of the time people are just out of the loop, grand parents haven't paid attention in many years about what is going on in baby care currently and simply need to bu updated. Some will never be open to a new way, their kid turned out just fine and you are I silting them by choosing different then they did.

(((Hugs))) it is hard having parents not agree with you, my own parents do not agree with my parenting choices, but we have learned a mutual respect over time. They only comment when they truly want to know. And leave it be when they disagree.


2 comments:

  1. Everybody has an opinion and they love to share it. I try my best just to listen to what others have to say and throw it away when they're not looking. The most irritating though is when people tell me I've held my babies too much. So silly! At least I think it's silly to think I've held my babies too much. :) They're only babies for so long.

    Sorry for rambling. You've written on a topic that prods at me a bit. :)

    Have fun with the last few letters. Good Q word by the way.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love how you mention that the way you respond has to do with how you want to continue the relationship. My sister-in-law is very opinionated and we've disagreed on a few things but I tend to just smile and nod. It's frustrated me how she'll hear me asking for oats to feed my baby (a part at her house where I had food that was acceptable for my 1 1/2 year old and the oats went missing) and then the next day gossip to the rest of the family about how I don't feed my daughter any "real food." But the other day, we were talking about how at the end of the day, when family disagrees, we're still family and she brought up how she disagrees with my ways and I disagree with hers, but we can still talk about it and still love each other afterward and that helped because instead of just hearing her say "you should do this!" it was "we know we disagree and that's ok," and it made me feel better about how I had reacted before (not just snapping at her for example). Now I'm just going to stop complaining about her ways to others!

    (Found this blog from GCM btw!)

    ReplyDelete

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